The Great Minnesota Get Togethers

Tonight for the first time in the nine-plus years I've lived in Minneapolis I went to the Mall of America (MOA) for the sole purpose of shopping. I've been there to meet Emily, gone to movies there, and used to go to some of the restaurants on the third floor before they all closed down.

But never have I gone since to be a shopper. But it just so happens MOA is the closest mall to our house. So unlike the tour buses that ship people up here from Iowa, I went there to buy my wife a birthday present because it was the most convenient.

But I went after 8 p.m. and it was not very crowded. On the way in, I walked through Sears and they had hastily-made signs that said "MERRY CHRISTMAS" taped to the door. The writing was ALL CAPS, Times new Roman, 24 point bold. Black font on white paper. Take that Christmas hatas!

But as per usual, I digress. And I found the MOA to be phenomenal. I'm sure the novelty will wear off, but the MOA is basically a more expensive year-round Minnesota State Fair (MSF).

The MSF has the midway; the MOA has Camp Snoopy.

MSF has a lot of fried tasty food that you feel guilty eating, and so does the MOA.

MSF has the farm animals and Miracle of Birth animal center; the MOA has Underwaterworld, an aqaurium.

MSF has tons and tons of vendors selling lots of weird, useless shit. So does the MOA.

The MOA has hayseeds visiting from Iowa; the MSF has farmers from outstate Minnesota showing their animals.

And this leads to my final point. The MOA has all walks of life, just like the MSF. Tonight while I was walking in the mall, a middle-aged couple was passed by a cocky 20 something yapping on his cell phone and a girl in front of me was wearing black pants so very tight you could see the crease of her butt crack. One cheek had the letters LO and the had VE. Yeah, nothing says love like an ass crack.

Only at these two places can you see these walks of life within 20 feet of each other. Great get togethers indeed.